Some people already think they have Zombie kids, maybe they bite everyone, maybe they’ll eat any and everything, including the family dog if given the chance, or maybe they just stare blankly and lumber along listlessly. I can’t guarantee anything about the last one there but a child who bites and eats everything in sight might be one to keep an eye on.

When and if the kids ever go full zombie on us, most people would say, and probably be right in saying, “they’re not kids anymore, just shoot”, but not only will it be really creepy to have a rotting bloody mouthed child walking towards you but it might be hard for some of us to shoot them at all. So, maybe when the time comes, we’ll be supporting a (non growing) army of mini zombies. It might also be kind of cute to have the smaller zombies stumbling around a brain trough… but for those of you who can stomach shooting them. Go to it.

zombie baby want human nuggets

When they get a little older, and can run as fast as you can or their mouth can fit a full forearm in it, rethink the cute factor maybe…

zombie girl

Some things to have with a zombie child in the house:

  • A waist high or higher barrier between all rooms, preferably one that snaps shut behind you.
  • Lots of “food” to keep the child as subdued as possible at all times.
  • A camera for those cute zombie moments.
  • Strong detergent for all those leaky rotting flesh accidents.
  • A leash and muzzle if needed, though watch out for the zombie rights people on this one.
  • Plastic sheets on basically everything.
  • Zombie child playdate schedule.

Enjoy your time while you have it, and if you find a zombie child walking around on the street – leave it be, call the authorities, and look for the closest zombie child adoption station to get one that has all it’s shots (post apocalypse of course).

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: